Reader discretion is advised.
I am not a doctor or psychologist of any kind, I am a human being that’s been through some shit & I speak from experience. If you feel you need additional forms of help then go get it. This article is just meant to give you perspective.
Depression from bad brain chemistry is real & things like supplementation with vitamin D & other supplements/hormones can help. I cannot guarantee anything. Life is a journey and you are going to have to figure out what works and is what is best for you. Asking for help along the way is always an option.
Many of us have been down dark roads – I definitely have. Remember, we as humans are in this together and we always have the choice to fight!
Let’s get started…
Life can really suck at times, and bad shit happens. Sometimes it comes in the form of family members passing on without us, or hard financial situations that many of us go through, or even the event of a breakup in your life. Someone who you thought would be there with you forever is now gone. It comes in many forms, and we have to remember that these things are never here to stay but rather they are here to pass.
We always have the choice to look at how these events have come to serve us.
In fact, many of the greatest people of time have gone through very hard moments that have shaped their paths to greatness. It’s not until it gets so dark that we are pushed to make the necessary changes to get ourselves out.
Unfortunately, many of us want to be better at something but a lot of us are so comfortable that we never really make an effort to do the difficult things.
Let me ask you. What pain are you willing to go through in order to get what you want?
Well, I’d like to say congratulations. Congratulations because this pain is the start of a new journey that will completely change your life and give you a life you can only dream of.
So no matter how you might be feeling, how bleak your life may seem or actually be… I have some news for you.
You do have a future.
Whether you agree with me or not I’m here to tell you that you are going to be a person in the future.
That person will have new interests, a new favourite food, possibly new friends, they will laugh, feel pain & will have overcome difficult obstacles that nobody would believe.
But suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
During my times of darkness, that idea helped put it into perspective for me. Looking back, I am so glad that I stayed strong because I can say that my life now is much better than the way it used to be.
I used to feel trapped in a corner with nowhere to go, no way out and no idea of what to do about it.
I could have indulged in things like drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, porn, gambling, video games – the list is endless. But I chose to endure. I have struggled with some of these in the past but I just couldn’t let my future self down. I thought about who he could be. What if things did get better? Would he be happy with the shape of the body I left him? Would he be able to cope with new addictions? How would that affect his life?
Indulging in those things will feel good in the present but would only hurt the future me and prevent the present me from moving forward. What if I had started smoking to cope with the stress & had picked up a habit? Now my lungs could be damaged, enough to prevent me from achieving the body of my dreams.
What if I had indulged in sex and porn? With each session draining my ambition, strength & will to fight further just for a brief moment of bliss. I’ll tell you I’d still be stuck. How many times have you planned on doing something only to quickly masturbate and then lose all motivation? I’ll tell you that it’s designed that way. On a primal level, we were meant to procreate and once that task is completed there’s nothing else to do but rest because we’ve achieved our mission.
What we can do however is change our surroundings. The fact of the matter is that we become the sum of the things that we surround ourselves with. Could you be surrounded by toxic people who feed you lies that you believe to be true? Or listen to shitty music or watch mind-rotting material on TV?
Your future self will always be the product of the things you do today. The things you listen to, the videos you watch, the people you hang around and the stories you tell yourself.
These things can sneak up on us and affect our energy without us realizing it. Just as a lobster slowly realizes the water it’s in is boiling only after it’s too late, the same can be said about the things we allow into our minds. Then next thing you know, whatever you harbour in your mind becomes the physical reality around you.
Your thoughts dictate your path in life. They become a physical reality.
“Whether you think you can or cannot. You are right.”
– Henry Ford
If you think you can’t do something then why even bother trying? But if you think you can do something then you will actually try towards that thing and you are 100% more likely at succeeding than you were if you didn’t try at all. Understand?
I am a big believer in building walls & burning bridges.
They will say “Oh never ever burn a bridge!”
I say, “Always look for walls to build and bridges to burn because these toxic people often do more harm to you than good!”
The key here is to focus on bettering yourself. Start with cleaning your surroundings. Clean your house, do the dishes, clean your room, start eating healthy food. You won’t want to do it but you have to! Just simply living in a clean environment will do wonders for your soul.
Go workout, go for a run, do pushups, just do something! You need to get the ball rolling in order for you to get through this. Become a part of something bigger than you. Find a purpose even if it’s only temporary. Even if it’s just helping your neighbour for a few hours or joining a soup kitchen. I don’t care but working towards something that you can literally see positively changing the lives of others will give you a sense of purpose.
Go out to the nearest body of water and just sit and listen. Take a look around and notice that there is more out there. The world is bigger than you. Your problems are hard but you really are just a small piece of the puzzle called life. It will humble you.
Force yourself out of your house and socialize. Hell, go out to the mall or a store and find an employee to talk to. Find a hot girl or guy behind the counter and just make small talk. It’s literally their job to talk to you! A simple success like this has done wonders for my confidence during my anti-social times.
The fun part is that it gets easier. Talking to people or working out gets easier the more you do it. There’s a quote from Bojack Horseman that goes:
“It gets easier. Everyday it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it everyday. That’s the hard part. But it does get easier.”
– The monkey character from Bojack Horseman
For those of you who still plan on following through.
I have a blunt truth to tell you.
Your absence will be painful for those around you whether you think so or not. They will mourn, and then they will move on. As if you never even existed. They will forget about you for the most part. Are you okay with that? Does it still feel worth it? I tell you it’s not.
The thing is that only you have the power to fix the problems in your life. People can help, but they aren’t you. They can offer an ear to listen or give advice but they aren’t you. They may never completely understand things the way you do and they can never make the choices you can make that will directly impact your life. Only you can!
You see I used to carry this burden. I used to feel that my pain would hurt those around me. I used to feel guilty for my pain and avoided talking to someone about whatever it was I was going through. I used to think that my negative, sad energy was going to bring them down so much to a point where they wouldn’t want to be around me anymore.
But let me tell you something. Everybody has dark times. Times of weakness and pain. We all need a boost. This is totally okay. People want to help you. Not only because they care about you and want to see you happy but because it makes them feel good to help someone else out! They are doing it for a selfish reason to make themselves feel good. When I realized this all my guilt went away. I no longer feel guilty for sharing my pain with someone.
Life is supposed to be a challenge. That’s the adventure. The adventure of not knowing what’s going to happen next just as cavemen lived on a daily basis. Our struggles give contrast to our pleasures.
Don’t take your life for granted because there are people out there who lose their limbs at a moment’s notice or worse – die. Your life can be taken away from you just as quickly as a new life can be given.
You see, your life can change in the blink of an eye. I know because it’s happened to me on multiple occasions.
Then you can be the one to say that you made it through, just as I do.
Today I am going to share one of these stories with you.
There was a time when I was working a job that was high stress with long hours. A lot of the time I didn’t get paid on time or get paid at all. In fact, I’ve gone quite a bit of time without any money coming in. I had debt and bills to pay and many worries in my head. I didn’t believe that I was capable of getting another job due to my previous work experience and the flooded job market at the time. I didn’t know what to do.
That day I had enough. I left work early and decided I would go and clear my head.
I got home and didn’t feel like being there. It felt like I had failed, and walked right back into that corner that I had been trying so hard to get away from.
I told myself that I would just go to my friend’s place to hang out, relax and then face my battle tomorrow.
I called an uber.
The driver pulled up and asked me about my day. I couldn’t lie to him. I felt awful. I couldn’t hide the emotions on my face. I told him what had happened and we exchanged a few words.
He then proceeded to tell me about a job he had heard about. I just listened in awe, my eyes grew wider with each word.
I thought “If only I could have a job like that!”
Somehow he had read my mind. He then excitedly told me more and then promised me that he would take me there and we would go apply. Then he drove me to my friend’s house for the night for me to relax.
The next day he came to my house to pick me up. We were both going to apply together. I walked into the interview room and the man gave me a job on the spot! It was a gig for 9 pm that night.
Shortly after, I walked out and motioned to him that he was next.
He gently shook his head and said that he didn’t feel comfortable doing so. It was right then and there that I knew.
This man, this complete stranger went out of his way to pick me up, bring me there, and tell me that he would sign up with me just to bring me support and comfort!
It was then and there that I knew – he was an Angel.
This man was an Angel and I am certain of it. His name was Ness. It just brings me to tears thinking about what he had done for me & how the heart of that man had helped change my life completely.
That occasion had unleashed a chain reaction of events & introduced me to people that took me to where I am today. I had worked my ass off & had belief after that moment – I knew what was mine before I even had it.
After all this, I can say I no longer feel trapped the way I used to. Keep in mind that I still struggle. My life isn’t perfect, it will continue to have struggles and more successes that come with it. But I am happy with that. That is enough. I know that one day I will live in a dream but until that day, I will remain strong through whatever life throws my way!
Your friend,
Jamie
